Being selfless and selfish

Sometimes, all you need is one gigantic glass of wine.
 Eleanor is amazing, she is smart and talkative. She is beautiful and I love her so much. I instinctively became selfless the moment a heard her heartbeat and the feeling has grew more intense with every kick and hiccup I felt, when she was born, it was transcending. I have been lucky enough to be a stay at home mom. I have a partner who enjoys providing for his family and I am insanely grateful. Ive always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I knew that it would be challenging and rewarding and I knew I would be addicted. Every bit of that came true. What I didn't know is that once it happened, I would savor my alone/me time (with the few moments I may have).
If you are a mom, you know the feeling, that feeling when your little darling(s) are peacefully asleep for the rest of the evening. Its a subtle feeling of accomplishment and relief. I don't ask for much "me" time, just an hour or two before bed. It took me until Eleanor was Four months old to understand that this time, for me, was healthy. It is ok to take time, to be selfish, for a bath, for a silent meal or (tonight) a LARGE glass of wine.
I feel that, even with these short "selfish" times, I can figure out myself as a mom and as an individual. I know these reflective moments will contribute to raising an independent, strong individual. Tonight, I lift my glass of Red Diamond to my stunning daughter. I love you so much Eleanor.